Friday, June 1, 2012

Bipolar

I have been diagnosed by one of the leading experts in the world (who happens who practice at Seoul National University Hospital in Bundang) with severe bipolar II disorder. I think that explains a lot, don't you?

Now for anyone with an interest in how undiagnosed bipolar people view the world and live their lives, this blog can be very interesting.

The breaking point for me when I finally decided there was no way I was normal and I needed help was earlier this year.

Last year I left my ex-husband whom I had married too quickly for silly reasons I had rationalized to myself,but I stayed technically married for the visa while my company promised to get me a working visa... in November, in December, next week, finally tomorrow! I was subcontracted and the subcontracting company was going to sponsor my visa. The company I was employed at told my immediate supervisor at the company and my agent at the subcontractor the day before we finally went to get my visa that they would not employ any foreigners for the consultant position unless they had a marriage or other permanent residency visa. Without their contract I couldn't get a visa and without a visa I couldn't work. I was denied contract renewal. So basically I was fired.

At the same time, my ex-husband and his father had been calling me, my supervisor, and my agent harassing and making threats. And my marriage visa was due to expire in two months. Of course he would not sign extension papers. So since I didn't have a job anyway, I signed the divorce papers and plunged into a deep depression.

In my last month at work, I fell in love with one of the interns, and he stayed with me throughout the depression. For the first time in my life I was in love and deeply depressed at the same time.

After two months, I got a better job. It doesn't pay as much because it's a small company, but the job is perfect for me. I should be happy right? I started cycling. Up down up down up down.

That's when I knew.

I am bipolar. Looking back, I know I was since before I came to Korea. You can read this blog as memoirs of a bipolar traveler.

Long overdue edit at the suggestion of a reader:

Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar Disorder Infographic — Healthline