It feels like my internal organs are trying to sever themselves from my body; my lungs and heart are trying to break out of my chest and my stomach and intestines are slowly plunging downward. How much longer can I stay in one piece? I remember to unclench my jaw. It hurts, so I shake it back and forth. Now my stomach is trying to escape by way of my throat. I swallow it back down into place and stifle a scream of frustration. I am falling apart. My world is falling apart. My eyes burn with unshed tears I've trained myself not to let free. My eyebrows rest lightly in their places where I've trained them not to scowl. On my lips is a slight smile placed perfectly so nobody suspects I'm on the verge of a breakdown.
On March 26, 2009, I left my life in America and moved to South Korea. I put my worldly possessions into two suitcases and a backpack and got on a plane. On December 8, 2012, I returned not to my hometown of Detroit, but to Silicon Valley, California, where I married an Indian engineer. In 2020, I divorced and moved to southern California. In this blog are my successes, failures, and observations of life in different cultures.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
5 Minutes Inside My Crazy Bipolar Brain
For those of you who are bipolar, this will sound familiar. For those of you who are not, here's a look into what we deal with every day. These are a small portion of the thoughts that go through my head in 5 minutes.
I used to have no idea what was wrong with me. I was a depressed and sometimes short-fused young girl, and by college there was something dark growing inside me and threatening to rage out of control. It reached a climax earlier this year and finally drove me to seek treatment, which I have been receiving since April. It helps me, but I know that this beast will never be exterminated. All I can do is cage it.
I used to have no idea what was wrong with me. I was a depressed and sometimes short-fused young girl, and by college there was something dark growing inside me and threatening to rage out of control. It reached a climax earlier this year and finally drove me to seek treatment, which I have been receiving since April. It helps me, but I know that this beast will never be exterminated. All I can do is cage it.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Unemployment by Visa
Once again, because of a visa problem and despite the fact that my coworkers and my boss want me to stay, I will be unemployed at the end of the week. Visa problems come suddenly and tear lives apart. I wonder, is this just in Korea? Or is this everywhere?
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Toastmasters CC#4 Music: Art or Language?
Here is a draft of my 4th speech in Toastmasters.
What is art? What is a language? Is
music an art or a language? For me, it's both, which is why I'm
better at art, music, and languages than at other things like math
and sports. (hahaha)
Friday, August 10, 2012
CA Vacation
Everything in the US is big. Serving sizes, people, noses, land, TV commercial run times, etc.
I miss it.
Here's a hello from San Jose, CA on my vacation.
More from Korea in a couple of weeks.
I miss it.
Here's a hello from San Jose, CA on my vacation.
More from Korea in a couple of weeks.
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