An emotional portrait of my current life

I'm starting to think in Korean. Even though I still can't speak or understand well, I'm trying so hard to assimilate here that my thoughts are more and more expressed in this unfamiliar language.

I decided a couple of weeks ago to take classes at a Korean language academy, so I signed up for the second half of May and was placed in the intermediate class. It was a little above my level in terms of vocabulary, but I was mostly able to keep up. But, at the same time as I started that class (Tuesday through Friday 9:30am-12:20pm), I also started an online psychology class through MSU, and I was suddenly inundated with potential students and new regular plans with language exchange partners. So, I was suddenly exhausted and started experiencing the all-too familiar insomnia, which causes depression, which causes worse insomnia. I was feeling lost and confused and so completely alone. Even though I have friends and a lot to do, I felt like I was walking in deep mud and going nowhere but deeper down. Life was swallowing me again, and I was hungry for a way out by my own devices. If I can be depressed in my new life, then what was the purpose of leaving the old one? If I could feel that same urge to scream until my heart burst only to open my mouth and release silence until my face turned red, what had I accomplished? I will not let myself be the reason that I'm unhappy. I must find a solution.

I'm not depressed when I'm with other people. So, I've been seeking out social interaction more than ever these days. I've made about 7 or 8 acquaintances in my 고시원 (goshiweon) who mostly don't speak English, and I've been stuffing my weekday schedule with plans. I now have five students, so that keeps me pretty busy. I study for psychology on the subway. I have two language exchange partners. I watch lectures once per week, which takes a couple of hours. I talk to Koreans on MSN late at night to practice Korean, build friendships, and stave off loneliness and boredom in my insomnia.

I've realized that I have no idea what to do with my life. I was going to be an interpreter, but not only is that daunting, but it's so much easier to just teach English and I love teaching. So maybe I'll teach for a few years and then open an English Academy here. I'll do something unique, something nobody has ever tried before. Maybe I'll teach music and English at the same time. Maybe it will be an academy that uses absolutely no textbooks; just conversation, discussion, and debate. Maybe I'll open a cafe/academy along the conversation lines. Free beverages and snacks for students; and, customers who come to the cafe will be intrigued by the English conversations around them, so advertising will be a "see it and believe it" type thing. Maybe I could combine art with English and have an acting school so people can act in English plays and write their own scripts. Whatever it is, my academy could be so creative and tap into the natural intuition everyone has when it comes to expressing themselves.

When you ask children what they want to do when they grow up, they give you ten different answers and they believe that they can do all of those things. I fee like that now. What do I want to do when I grow up? I want to be an interpreter speaking English, French, Japanese, Korean, and maybe some other language or two; I want to open my own language academy that is completely revolutionary; I want to write poetry in different languages and publish it; I want to write a book about my life; I want to study the way Korean people think about Japan; I want to compose music; I want to open a restaurant or a cafe; and, most of all, I want to make a positive impact on others' lives. Somehow I honestly believe that I can do all of these things. The problem is, right now, I feel so useless because I still have trouble with even daily things and I still forget to do the important things. Life is overwhelming as it is. How could I possible be so naive to think that I could accomplish so much when I feel like I'm standing still? Why can't I just light a fire under my ass and chase a dream or two?? I guess you could say coming to Korea was chasing a dream, but I feel like I came here to figure out what my dreams are, who I am, and how I'm supposed to chase my dreams. I still don't know. I really don't know.

I feel simultaneously overly self-conscious and pretentious. I hate that I can't speak Korean; I feel so stupid because I can't understand when people talk to me. But, most Americans here don't bother to learn Korean, and they think that Koreans are stupid for not knowing English. Many Koreans themselves feel stupid for not perfecting English, which is completely ludicrous because this is Korea. The Korean standard of beauty is even thinner than the American standard of beauty, so although I've lost a noticeable amount of weight, I'm as self-conscious as I was in middle school or high school because I'm bigger than most of the girls here. I already stick out like a sore thumb because I'm a foreigner. Do I have to be a fat one, too? I know this is unfounded, because I am a healthy weight and it's a just a difference in genetics and the lifestyle I'm used to (greasier food, using cars instead of walking and standing on subways and buses). As I said, living in Korea is making me thinner. I got new jeans just before leaving America that were too tight. Now I can't wear them without a belt. Anyway, the pretentious attitude I'm slowly adopting is the direct effect of my "fame". I'm not famous, but people treat me like I am because foreigners are rare here, especially young foreign girls. Every day I'm told that I'm beautiful, which has never happened before in my life. When I speak my clumsy Korean, people look at me like I'm the most amazing person they've ever met. They call me a genius. When they hear my story, they say I'm the bravest person they know, and they're jealous that I'm so strong. One of the first question men in their 20's ask me is, "do you have a boyfriend?" Even men with girlfriends they love flirt with me. It's difficult not to become egocentric. Women express their envy of my small face, big eyes, high nose, light skin, English fluency, and my overall American-ness. I have to consciously suppress the "yeah, you either want me or you wanna be me" attitude when I walk around 서현 (Seohyeon, my home) or crowded areas of Seoul. I love the attention, and I hate myself for loving it. That's not the reason I came here, and it's not the reason I want to stay here. For the most part, the general public has become invisible to me at this point. It's just a mass of curious or indifferent people. I stare at other foreigners just like Koreans do. I'm sure Koreans stare at me in surprise when I stare at other foreigners in surprise. I can see the people next to me reading my text messages on the subway when I write in Korean sometimes. I'm an anomaly, but to me this whole country is an anomaly. I can't begin to describe the social atmosphere of Korea. Maybe I'll try another time.

In any case, my life feels aimless now; I'm taking a sebatical from reality to absorb my new surroundings. I'm just beginning to wake up and face reality, submerging myself in the unfamiliar waters as much as I can bear. I don't miss America, but I don't feel like I belong here yet. I'm caught in between and overwhelmed by the unique sensation of belonging nowhere. By belonging nowhere, I intrinsically belong everywhere. It's completely pardoxical, oxymoronic, absurd. If I have no roots, the world is mine to explore and make my own. I predict that one year from now, I will have reached financial freedom. From now on, barring some major catastrophe, I will not have any need to borrow money. I have already started saving money this week. I will pay off my student loans and I'll return all of the money my mother has given me both in America and in Korea to support me when I couldn't cut it by myself. One year. When I graduate college, I will have no debt. I will have no home. I will have no concrete plan. I will be comfortable living on two completely opposite countries. Can you think of anything I won't be able to do? By being nothing, the door will be open for me to be anything. I am almost there. It's frightening and thrilling. In my entire life, I never thought I would come to a crossroad like that. I could have never imagined, even two years ago, that I would be in Korea shaking my wings open now. Nobody who knew me in high school would ever picture me being on such an adventure.

The very core of my personality is the same as it has always been: I can't hurt a fly without feeling immensely guilty; I can't say 'no' easily; I value other people greatly, and am loyal, protective, and generous, as long as I have respect for a friend; I am extremely forgetful when it comes to obligations, numbers, and names, and along those lines I'm terrible at keeping in touch; I am always hungry for people to like me and feel dejected when alone, but at the same time I value my solitude immensely; I love plants and animals, but not bugs; I have massive ambitions but very little drive or self-motivation to work toward those ambitions; I have a lot of inertia in that I'm reluctant to start anything but once I do I will not stop until it's finished and perfect (as seen in my infrequent but really long blog entires); I am addicted to music and self-expression; I overthink some things but neglect to notice others, often resulting in a mix of memories different from those of the people I shared that time with; I crave admiration and recognition that I'm unique and amazing, which drives me to pursue interests that make me more unique without being strange; the world never ceases to fascinate me; I love anything that can be thought of as a puzzle, including people, languages, cultures, music, sudoku, Legos, physiology, and psychology; and, I have a tendency to describe things completely, which often results in long lists and the excessive use of parentheses and tangents. Correct me if I'm wrong. I know I missed some things, but I try to suppress my habit of over-describing. How many people know themselves that well when they are only 21 years old? It's refreshing and helps me identify what I need to counteract to live more happily.

I have a homework assignment for all of you:
Think about your entire life, as much of it as you can remember. Think about how much you've changed. Was it positive or negative change? Was it gradual or sudden? I'm sure you've thought of these things before. Now, think about what hasn't changed. Often we notice the differences, but we never notice the constants. It's that simple to know who you are. It's comparable to physical growth. When you are born, your eyes are done growing. As an adult, you look completely different than you did as a baby, but your eyes are still the same (with the exception of cases where pigmentation occurs after birth, resulting in a blue-eyed baby and a darker-eyed adult). Sorry if my facts aren't right on here, but you get the idea. People always think about the fact that they have grown taller and their skin has wrinkles and their hair goes gray, but how many times do you realize that your eyeballs themselves have never changed? If you want to know who you are, just compare all the different people you have been and find the ways they are the same. That is who you are, and that is what will never change, good or bad. I hate being desperate for attention and lazy, but that's who I am. I can only find ways to counteract those tendencies. I love that I'm creative and imaginative, and I'm glad to have the security that I will never lose those traits. What about you?

The Subway is Great for Studying

Now that I moved all the way across the city, I have to take the subway for about an hour and a half, then transfer to a bus for a total trip of about 2 hours to tutor my one student. I believe I introduced him before.... Just in case, I'll explain again/for the first time. That day that I was so miserable I decided to go to a bar alone for some drinking, I made friends with the manager of that bar. She then called two of her friends to come join us. One of those friends is an English teacher for little kids. That friend, 선화 언니 (Big Sister Sunhwa) got me a job tutoring her friend's son. The boy's name is 지호 (Jiho) and he's in 5th grade. Later this summer, he and his mother will go to Canada for 8 weeks, so his mother wants him to learn some English really quickly and get used to speaking and listening. So, I get paid about $30 US dollars per hour to talk to him in English and get him used to culture. I go there every Tuesday and Thursday from 5pm to 6:30pm. 지호 (Jiho) was extremely shy at first, but now is eager to show me things and tries hard to make me understand. Sometimes he uses Korean and I can understand a little, but I told him to assume that I can't speak any Korean at all. He showed me some of his schoolwork, and the math and drawing are especially impressive. I think he can do both better than I can! He loves soccer and he likes baseball, too. His favorite books are Le Petit Prince, Charlotte's Web, and a short series of Korean books. Of course, he reads translated versions of the former two in Korean. His English is extremely limited. But, he's a very fast learner and a good speller.

Last night (Tuesday night) I kept my promise to visit my bar manager friend, 마찌마찌 이모 (Mazzi Mazzi (bar name) maternal aunt) on a weekly basis. After tutoring I went to 까치산 (Ggachisan) and walked around the familiar streets, which was amusingly surreal. Then I played piano at the church for an hour, waiting for the bar to open at 9. I went to the bar, but a part-timer said my friend would be in around 10:10 (oddly specific) so I went to 까치산역 (Ggachisan station) and read/studied until I fell asleep (subway/subway station sleep is like a light half-sleep state, more like recharging than sleeping).

A side note here: I bought a book that fits roughly in the religious philosophy genre a while ago. It was originally written by a Korean pastor in an attempt to combine Christianity, Buddhism, and Taoism into his thought processes, but my copy is a translated text in French. Needless to say, it is not an easy topic to read in a second language. French isn't really necessary for me to study, so it's kind of a fun thing for me to kill time on the subway or while waiting for people to read it, underlining words I don't know and jotting down notes like "false cognate?" or writing smiley faces next to phrases I particularly like. I'm almost halfway done with it now.

Anyway, around 10, who should call but my best friend 은영 (Jenny)!! We made plans for this afternoon. I figured I'd stay at the bar until closing (4am) then study in the station until the first train home (5:30am), then sleep a little bit, then get ready and go talk to a teacher at a Korean Language Institute in 분당 (Bundang) at 10am, then get on the subway immediately to meet her on the other side of the city at 12pm, then leave at 5pm to meet my friend 래욱 (Raewook, English name Eddie) back on the east side for dinner at 6pm, then return home and sleep. Take into account I got 3 hours of sleep the night before.

After hanging up the phone, I headed to the bar and, as usual, got a couple of beers and some food and had a nice chat. After a while 미주 (Miju) came to join me, which was great because we don't see each other much anymore. She says my Korean is getting better :) Unfortunately 주환 (Joohwan) and my old landlord couldn't come, but I'll go there every week so there will be many chances to see them. 미주 (Miju) invited me to come back to her room and sleep a little before getting on the subway because she didn't want me to be alone from 4am to 5:30am, which was a very good idea. So we went there, again surreal because I lived there less than a week ago and now I was a guest, and I got up for the early train. I got home around 7:30am and decided to sleep from 7:45 to 8:00. I woke up at 12:30 to a text message from 은영 (Jenny) asking where I was. Awesome.

Anyway I finally ACTUALLY woke up around 4pm, took a shower, and read the email from 서 선생님 (Mr. Seo) who teaches at a 한국어 학원 (Korean acadamy) next to 서현역 (Seohyeon station), which is where I live now. That was a lot of Korean in one sentence for you guys, wasn't it? Haha. He gave me directions to the place, so I memorized them because they were very simple. He said to go out from 서현역 3번 출구 (Seohyeon station exit gate number 3) and take the left overpass to the SH Sienne building, and 굿모닝 어학원 (Good Morning Academy) would be on the second floor. I entered the station and looked EVERYWHERE for an exit 3. I couldn't find it, and I was running out of time because I had to meet my friend for dinner. So I asked a guy standing by a door in a suit with an earpiece (these people are there just to answer questions, basically), "SH Sienne Building 이 어디에 있어요? 알아요?" ("Where is the SH Sienne Building? Do you know?") He was very confused at the name and said something like, "Is that a store in AK Plaza?" (AK Plaza is the giant mall attached to the station, which is technically where he works). I responded, "AK Plaza 에 없어요." ("It's not in AK Plaza.") and I pointed outside. Then he asked me to repeat the name, so I wrote it down, at which point he pulled a small map out of his pocket, looked at it for a while, and called for help. I heard the word "외국인" which means foreigner, a word I hear almost every day. After all that, we had been practically staring at the building the entire time. I think sometimes I can be so smart and so stupid at the same time. So, I thanked him and walked the one or two minutes across the street to the SH Sienne building.

Apparently I'm at a low intermediate level of Korean according to this particular academy's standards. Their classes consist of 3-8 people, and the one that would work best for me is a little advanced for me, but the other classes would be too easy. I'm a very fast learner. As I told Mr. Seo, I was that kid in French, Japanese, and Korean class who never studied and got the highest score. He seemed very excited by that. He was also very impressed with my Korean skill, as I had told him that I'd studied for one semeseter at MSU and the rest was from teaching myself by talking to friends. The class is Tuesday through Thursday. I told him I will decide and get back to him by Monday. It's appealing, but I was talking to one of my friends on MSN tonight and explained, in Korean, about my day and the academy. He corrected my sentences as usual and said, "very good^^... absolutely you are good... you don't need to go there." I've been talking to him since before I came to Korea, so he's been watching me improve. If he thinks I don't need to go there, maybe I don't need to go there. I'll have to get the opinions of my other Korean friends and think it over.

For dinner, I met 래욱 (Eddie), who is extremely chivalrous and kind, funny, and completely average-looking. We got sushi and udon at a Japanese restaurant in 신천 (Shincheon) and then walked to a park in 잠실 (Jamsil). There, in the middle of a lake, is a cute amusement park called Lotteworld (I think that's the name). Lotte is a large corporation in Korea, I believe. There are Lotte stores, Lotte products (like the "FLAVONO" gum I just bought), Lotte this, Lotte that... it's everywhere like Samsung is. We didn't go to the amusement park, just walked around and sat on a bench. While on the bench, I got a text from 은영 (Jenny) asking if I was available to meet, so we started texting back and forth formulating a plan. At the same time, another started texting me. In Korea, people just have conversations via text all the time. On the subway, at dinner, while hanging out with friends, walking down the street, in class, lying in bed, whatever. I'm starting to become Korean in that way, but my texting stealth is not exactly up-to-par and multitasking stressed me out a little. So, here I was having 3 conversations at the same time, and believe me Koreans can text very quickly so it's really a conversation. I was talking to 래욱 (Eddie) in person about how ridiculous texting in Korea is and how it's tough for me to keep up, while at the same time making plans with rapid-fire texts to 은영 (Jenny) and talking about my day via text with my other friend. 래욱 (Eddie) was extremely amused by how flustered I was becoming when we started walking to the subway station while I was still texting both people, and said he's going to text me at random times and immediately follow each text with "you're so slow" or "hurry up" or "what the hell" or "bite me" just for fun. My friends are great~!

So FINALLY I got to see 은영 (Jenny) after 6 weeks. Last time I saw her was in our apartment in Michigan. It seems like a million years ago and a million miles away already. We didn't have much time to see each other because it was pretty late, but we went to a sticker photo booth and took cute pictures together. My set is in my wallet now. We're going to see each other tomorrow evening, too, and Friday night, probably with some other friends.

Random culture note: "oppa" means big brother - in Korea, people who are close, no matter what the relationship, are called by the corresponding family member. So, I should call my younger friends who I'm close to 동생 "dongseng" - younger sibling, older female friends 언니 "eonni" - older sister, etc.. 오빠 "oppa" is kind of a term of endearment for girls to call older guys, often their boyfriends, and guys LOVE it).

Another random culture note: Private movie rooms are very common date places in Korea because the definition of PDA (public displays of affection) is much more conservative and couples usually don't go to each others' homes because they generally live with their parents until they get married (women) or get a job (men). So, going to a DVD방 (DVD room) is cheaper than a movie theater and gives couples the opportunity to cuddle up and watch a movie together, which is a rare opportunity in Korean culture. Women can also go there with other women. If men go together, people think they are gay, which is a big no-no in Korea.

Getting Busier and Busier

No wonder you all have been badgering me to post something new. It's been a really long time. But it feels like only a few days. Time flies!!! Now let me think... what have I even been doing???

I registered for an online psychology course through Michigan State University and ordered the textbook, and I've been working on scheduling fall and spring classes, too. It's difficult because the online options are, of course, significantly fewer than the on campus options. And, my major is unusual (Global and Area Studies with an Asian Studies Concentration and a Psychology cognate).

I met some more new friends who I will describe later (I'm very tired now). 주환 (Joohwan) says my Korean has improved a lot. He was really, really surprised.

I went all over Seoul with 영하 (Youngha), including an ancient palace, a few famous malls, and some other landmark or interesting places. We also went on the first trial ride of the new subway line, line 9, which will start runnung at the end of this month. I was the only foreigner there. That means that I'm the first foreigner ever to ride Seoul's subway line 9. Yeah I'm special~

I got a tutoring student. He's a 5th grade boy who's going to Canada in a couple of moths with his mother for 8 weeks. Remember I made friends with a bar manager? This student is her friend's friend's son. It helps to make connections!

A couple of days ago, I moved to 분당, which is just south of Seoul. My scenery has changed drastically. I live just outside 서현역 (Seohyun station), which is attatched to AK Plaza, a giant department store mall thing. There's Prada, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, etc. as you walk out of the subway, and around my new home (on the 4th floor of its building) there are many stores, clubs, restaurants, bars, coffee shops, you name it. During the day people shop here, and at night they party here. 서현 (Seohyun) never sleeps. My new 고시원 (goshiweon) is co-ed and most of the residents are students, I think. At the old one, it was women-only and half the residents were students and half were middle-aged women. Today, I was sleeping in for the first time in a few days, and at about 11am there was a knock on my door. A guy who works here (I'm getting really used to his face) handed me his phone. It was the owner of the 고시원 (goshiweon) telling me in pretty good English (he said he studied in Georgia a while back) that he's really excited to have me living here because I'm the first foreigner to ever live here, and if I ever need anything to call him because the workers can't speak English.

New place pros and cons:
Pro- my room is bigger and cleaner
Con- the window in my room opens to a hallway, not the outside like the old one did
Pro- no more noise from traffic
Con- I can hear karaoke at all hours of the morning (actually quite amusing)
Pro- the kitchen is much nicer
Con- the bathroom is worse
Pro- I live closer to maybe half of my friends
Con- I live further away from my student (it's a 2-hour commute now) and 미주 (Miju) and 주환 (Joohwan)
Pro- I love the atmosphere here
Con- it's more expensive (340,000won per month as opposed to 250,000won per month)
Pro- I have shelves and drawers and a mirror in my room now!!!
Con- there's no fan or air conditioner in my room (central cooling in the whole building)
Pro- there is a Krispy Kreme really close
Con- I don't know where the nearest grocery store is yet
Pro- my refrigerator is larger and has a freezer and doesn't have a funny smell
Con- if I can't find the grocery store, the fridge is useless (I couldn't think of a corresponding con)
Pro- my bed is longer and has an adorable headboard
Con- I was nice and left the pillow and blanket from my landlord in the old place so I have no pillow (my thin blanket is warm enough because my room is warm)... I've been sleeping on Softie, leaving me nothing to cuddle!!
Pro- there's great food on the street for cheap
Con- I miss rice cake man and all the free rice cakes he gave me
Okay this is getting ridiculous, enough with the pros and cons!

Now for some awesome news: 은영 (Jenny), my best friend and roommate in America, got back home to Korea today for a while before she goes to study in Japan for the summer! AND, she lives closer to my new place than to my old place! Yayyyy!!!! I might get to see her tomorrow night!!!

And now, it is 4:30am. I must sleep. Seriously.

I'm on TV!!!!

The three girls in the beginning are my friends, and I'm in the middle. The host is 김 창렬 (Changryul Kim). He's a famous singer. The other two are a rapper and a singer competing to lose weight. It's a reality show about those two and their significant others and they do a bunch of ridiculous things, like holding "Free Hugs" hearts in a park. I talked about this a few posts ago. 영하 (Youngha) just found the video for me today. :)

My Band and other Notes

I almost forgot~ On Sunday, I went to the 홍대 (Hongdae) area of Seoul to meet with a band who posted an ad looking for a female vocalist. There were supposed to be two of us girls, but the other one didn't show up. The band consists of two American guys and two Canadian guys. All of them teach English here (I believe). Dave and Nick are American, and Ryan and Matt are Canadian. Their style is a combination of reggae, rock, and slightly folk, with a lot of energy. They were really excited that I can play piano, too, so I had them send me files of the music they've recorded so I can try to write some keyboard parts this week. I have just today and tomorrow.... and I'm lazy today, so I guess I'll head to the piano tomorrow.

This was my first time meeting other foreigners in Seoul. With the five of us walking down the street speaking English and being caucasian, we got a lot of stares. I met three of them at the subway station, and Matt met us at the studio/practice room place. The practice room had a drumset, some amps, a pretty nice keyboard (all options written in English), and three microphones. The door to the room was glass and had a clouded window decal on it for privacy. Said decal was Winnie-the-Pooh themed. Everything in South Korea is a little bit gay by American standards, I think. More on that in a minute.

I found it fascinating that out of the four of them, only one guy was making any effort to learn Korean (I think... he was looking through a flower catalog in Korean). All three of the guys I met at the station ordered in English at a Quizzno's (to be fair, they said they didn't eat American food often). Earlier, I had mentioned that ordering at restaurants is really difficult for me, and they said, "why not just point at things?" Make what you will of that. I see the other kind of American now: instead of integrating, they choose to live a transitory surface life, just making money and hanging out. I'm not saying it's necessarily bad, just that it's the complete opposite of me.

Some interesting side notes:
In Korea, women often wash small articles of clothing in the shower, like socks and underwear. I did that for the first time yesterday. It's not as odd as I thought it would be.
In Korea, instead of having one cell phone battery and charging your phone, you get two cell phone batteries and charge the battery, then just switch them out.
In Korea, when people of different ages go out together, the oldest always pays.
In Korea, the size of your face is important. Small faces are beautiful. As are big eyes and light skin. So, Koreans think I'm very beautiful.
In Korea, women usually care more about a man's height than about his face.
In Korea, instead of having waiters come around intermittently, you press a button on the table when you want service and a doorbell sound rings, calling the waiter.
In Korea, people talk to themselves a lot, especialy old men.
In Korea, people often ask you to compare attributes. For instance, "who is more handsome, him or me?"
In Korea, or maybe just in my area, they think that if you flush toilet paper in the toilet, "there will be a disaster."
In Korea, women judge the character of men in many small ways. One of them is that a good man walks between the woman and the street. Another is that a good boyfriend buys earrings for his girlfriend. Also, the 100-day anniversary is extremely important, so a good man never forgets to do something great on that day.

Anyway, about the gay thing: Korean culture is, by American definition, gay. Men wearing pink and purple, and brightly colored pants, is definitely not strange here. Men often carry handbags. When men speak English, their "s" is often soft and gentle. Sometimes I can't tell the difference between men and women because the hair and clothing styles can be so similar. Men love cute things almost as much as women do, and are not afraid to admit that they love dramas and romantic comedies. Many men walk and assume stances that would be stereotypically gay in America. Men walk around with their arms around each others' shoulders or place their hands on their male friends' backs. None of this is gay in Korea. Koreans are actually quite homophobic in general.

Ah, I also almost forgot a person~
현석 (Hyunseok): He's older than me, of course, and quite tall and slender. I met him quite a while ago, now. He has midterms now so I haven't seen him in a while. He studied American literature and wants to be a financial specialist, if I remember right. I went to dinner in 강남 (Kangnam) with him and then his friend came to meet us and the three of us went shopping. Yes, two men and a girl shopping, and the girl is the one tagging along. See what I mean about Korean culture being American gay? Anyway it was fun and they are both very kind and funny. I hope to see them again relatively soon.