I am not neglecting this blog because I'm busy or forgot about it. I merely have nothing to write. The days are blurring together. I have no idea what to do with my life or how to do it. I don't know where to start. I feel useless and small, unimportant and afraid. I am a child in an adult's body. The day after my 21st birthday, I was on a plane to the other side of the world to start a new life. The day after my 25th birthday, I felt like I was still 21 and that my time in Korea was a dream.
On March 26, 2009, I left my life in America and moved to South Korea. I put my worldly possessions into two suitcases and a backpack and got on a plane. On December 8, 2012, I returned not to my hometown of Detroit, but to Silicon Valley, California, where I married an Indian engineer. In 2020, I divorced and moved to southern California. In this blog are my successes, failures, and observations of life in different cultures.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Settling In
I am no longer miserable. I no longer despise living in my own country. I can't believe I'm saying this after how vehemently opposed I was to returning from Korea, but I am happy to be home.
The moment I realized this was yesterday when my roommate in Korea sent me a message saying she found a job that could give me a visa, and it wasn't English teaching. That's exactly what I wanted, what I had been waiting and hoping for. But when I saw the message, my heart dropped.
The moment I realized this was yesterday when my roommate in Korea sent me a message saying she found a job that could give me a visa, and it wasn't English teaching. That's exactly what I wanted, what I had been waiting and hoping for. But when I saw the message, my heart dropped.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Spreading Myself Thin
I've been looking for a job unsuccessfully in San Jose since I got back from Korea in mid-December, so I widened my search to include the whole San Francisco Bay area.
But in the meantime, a friend from Korea asked me to go to Dubai, and I've wanted to try living there since I worked at Samsung C&T (which was the main contractor on the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world). So I'm also looking for a job in Dubai. Turns out I have more connections in the UAE than in the US. Funny how life works.
And, of course, I'm still trying to get back to Korea doing anything but teaching English. I really miss Seoul and all my friends there, and I miss the culture and food and everything but the weather, really.
I realized through all of this that I don't like living in my home country.
But in the meantime, a friend from Korea asked me to go to Dubai, and I've wanted to try living there since I worked at Samsung C&T (which was the main contractor on the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world). So I'm also looking for a job in Dubai. Turns out I have more connections in the UAE than in the US. Funny how life works.
And, of course, I'm still trying to get back to Korea doing anything but teaching English. I really miss Seoul and all my friends there, and I miss the culture and food and everything but the weather, really.
I realized through all of this that I don't like living in my home country.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Where to Work?
San Jose is a global city. It feels small but don't be fooled- there are brilliant people from all over the world gathered here in Silicon Valley. And there are a lot of job seekers and not enough jobs for all of us. Happy New Year everyone, from an unemployed, soon to be homeless, Kristin.
But don't worry! I will get back on my feet! Speaking of feet, I was walking to a mall that's about a 40 minute walk from my current place the other day and I smelled something familiar. The stench of rotting ginko under my feet brought me back to the streets of Seoul in the fall and early winter. I never thought I'd close my eyes and take that in as a pleasant fragrance, but I did. I stopped in my tracks on the sidewalk and sucked the stench into my nostrils and was transported to my walk to the subway station from my studio apartment in Gangnam (Yeoksam). I remembered the crowded subway line number 2 and the station two stops away (Samseong) where I worked in Trade Tower above COEX mall. I remembered how in the summer my life was right on track: a great boyfriend, a great apartment, a great job, great friends, walking distance to great salsa clubs.... What happened? Life happened.
But don't worry! I will get back on my feet! Speaking of feet, I was walking to a mall that's about a 40 minute walk from my current place the other day and I smelled something familiar. The stench of rotting ginko under my feet brought me back to the streets of Seoul in the fall and early winter. I never thought I'd close my eyes and take that in as a pleasant fragrance, but I did. I stopped in my tracks on the sidewalk and sucked the stench into my nostrils and was transported to my walk to the subway station from my studio apartment in Gangnam (Yeoksam). I remembered the crowded subway line number 2 and the station two stops away (Samseong) where I worked in Trade Tower above COEX mall. I remembered how in the summer my life was right on track: a great boyfriend, a great apartment, a great job, great friends, walking distance to great salsa clubs.... What happened? Life happened.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Reverse Culture Shock and Reminiscences
Now that I've been back in the US for a few weeks, there are some things I've noticed about myself, about my country, and about Korea that I had taken for granted. It still aches to think about what I've left behind and I still feel my future is a black hole. It's like my ribs are made of rubber and every time I breathe my lungs and heart bend them backwards to try to escape from my body. I scream with no sound alone in my room and sob myself to sleep silently. I am homesick for a country that was never mine and a family with which I share no blood. But it's not all bad. I'm breaking the barrier between the present and the future with baby steps, and eventually I'll get my training wheels off and ride forward on my own again.
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