This morning I woke up hungry and realized there was no immediately edible food in my home. So I washed some dishes, made rice in the rice cooker, beat some eggs, made egg fried rice, and sat down to watch CSI: Miami with Korea subtitles on TV. This is my life, I realized as I lay down waiting for the rice cooker to finish the rice. My stomach hurt from walking around and doing things without eating first, and I was miserable because I didn't want to have egg fried rice again. This is my life.
I know it's only temporary, but it begs the question: what do I want in life?
If this is not the life I want, what is the life I want? And if I ever manage to figure that out, how will I get that life?
Right now I stand at a crossroads. Tomorrow there is a job fair for people like me: foreigners. Outsiders. If I can get a job that I deem doable and not detrimental to my future career, I will stay in Korea. I will buy some things I need for my apartment for the winter, and I will stay with my boyfriend. If I fail, I will buy a one way plane ticket to the US, and my boyfriend and I will most likely break up when I get on the plane.
I hate being unsure. I feel like I'm planning two futures. The magic day is November 15th. Should I stay or should I go? It's not my choice. Wish me luck tomorrow. I'll let you know the outcome eventually.
On March 26, 2009, I left my life in America and moved to South Korea. I put my worldly possessions into two suitcases and a backpack and got on a plane. On December 8, 2012, I returned not to my hometown of Detroit, but to Silicon Valley, California, where I married an Indian engineer. In 2020, I divorced and moved to southern California. In this blog are my successes, failures, and observations of life in different cultures.
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