Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Future is a Black Hole Full of Promise

Will the job searching never end??
First I was job searching in Korea from January to March, then again from August to November, and now I've been job searching online for jobs in the South Bay area for about a month. I'm right where I started- nowhere!

The future is a black hole waiting to swallow me up and the next step I take will define what's on the other side. I hope it's not angry aliens. Ha!

It's gotten me thinking about what I want in life. What career path is best for me? I think I would do well in either marketing or HR. But I don't know for sure. I've been thinking of going back to school to become a psychiatrist. But where would that money come from? I think I could get into Stanford with well-written essays about my experiences here in Korea, but would I be able to push through to graduation? I barely made it through my bachelor's degree. Granted, I was working all the time and my priorities were not in the order necessary for a high GPA.

I don't even know where I'll be living in three weeks. It's a flashback to almost 4 years ago when I got ready to get on a plane to Korea and not look back.

California is like another country within the US. I'll be suffering from culture shock and reverse culture shock at the same time. I have a feeling it will be just as interesting as my Korean life. Maybe I'll keep blogging: "Kristin's Korean Californian Life".

I have so many things to do and so little time. 11 days and counting.

Once again, like my arrival in Korea, like my divorce and losing my job at Samsung, I am embarking on an unknown new beginning. My heart is beating faster every day. Maybe I should stop drinking coffee.

I really hope this is the last new beginning brought on by the necessary end of something else. I would like more new beginnings like a new job I love, a real wedding, winning the lottery. They're all equally likely at this point.

But as I write this I realize that I have had just as many happy new beginnings as forced ones, and sometimes they were the same. I was happy when I first got married, when we started our restaurant together (before it failed three months later), when I got the job at Samsung, and later at Lundbeck. I was happy when the divorce went through and I was free. I was happy for those new beginnings. And honestly, I'm brimming with excitement and anticipation to go to California. I never thought I'd go there this early in my life. It was always my reward in the future for when I got rich and successful. I never imagined going there as a pauper. But heaven is heaven, no matter the road that takes one there.

Guess I don't need my winter coat anymore, huh?


  1. Hi, I just found out your blog by accident but your posts are impressive. I think you experience a slump, however, surely will get out of it soon. You are already have courage! (I know you do since you made a big decision already to come Korea for your life) Hopefully you feel better soon. :)